Friday, October 21, 2005

Bust a Yo-Yo Move

While celebrating my friend Joe's birthday last week, one of the guests discovered a yo-yo nearby and started fooling around with it. When Joe saw what the guy was doing, he started one of his rants (as he always does when the opportunity presents itself) about as a kid he used to hate other kids who did all these trick moves with them like "loop de loop" and his favourite "walking the baby".

That last one caused everybody in the room to pause for a second before we realized that he actually meant to say "walk the dog". Of course we ended up busting his chops over his miscue because that's what we do (we're like a pack of hyenas when it comes to stuff like that). For the rest of the evening, we kept bugging him to remember other specialty yo-yo tricks. Here's a list of some of the them:

- Open the chute
- Heave the Havana
- The Full Monty
- Dropping the hammer
- Pass the poi (which lead to "Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side")
- Putting out the fire (with gasoline)
- Pulling the goalie
- F*cking the dog

So if there are any yo-yo masters reading this, I like to see you try and create tricks from the aforementioned list, especially the last two.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Gay Interests

As I affectionately tell many of my friends on a regular basis, I am in touch with my feminine side. Sure, as a heterosexual male I watch enough sports, eaten plenty of steak and potatoes and have watched The Godfather, Scarface and Martin Scorsese flicks as much as the next guy, but I have also embraced my sensitive side as well.

I do enjoy going to the theatre and watch musicals (can recite Sondheim lyrics from memory), have gone to art galleries willingly, seen many chick flicks by choice and currently a big fan of TV’s Gilmore Girls. These are what I now call my gay interests.

That term was coined from a friend of mine when I was perusing through his DVDs. In amongst his collection that includes action, horror and Japanese monster flicks was the box set for Little House on the Prairie Season One. I had to ask him why he had this in with the likes of Friday the 13th, Star Wars and Godzilla. With a straight face, he told me that it was his gay interest.

He told me that every time he watches Pa Ingalls doing whatever is necessary in order to provide for his family, he starts weeping like a girl. He says he can’t help it. And this is a guy who, as a teacher, intimidates the hell out of his students as well as his fellow coworkers.

I am noticing that this phenomenon is popping up everywhere. From guys I know that cry during certain movies (mostly Old Yeller and Rudy) to the number of poems written by males I’ve noticed on this blogsite to my friend Mark Lefebvre admitting his love for reading Good Housekeeping on his blog. And of course Hollywood is all over this trend with Sylvester Stallone’s passion for painting to Kevin Costner making sensitive movies to Silent Bob sobbing like a little girl with a skinned knee during Pretty Pink when Molly Ringwald’s character finally hooks up with her dream guy.

Let’s face it. The metrosexual revolution is here and it’s time for guys to free themselves from the shackles of macho maleness and reveal their own gay interests. Let them freely admit that they like listening to Coldplay, being a fan of Oprah or like watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. There is nothing wrong with it.

It’s an acceptable life-choice as far as I'm concerned.